Self-acceptance and doing nothing

Hi 🙂,
the other day we went to the hardware store. We wanted two shelves, but they only had one in stock. Why not ask if we can buy the display model?

In the past I would have never done that. I would have found another solution that didn’t involve talking to an employee and asking for something I considered “out of the ordinary.” I didn’t want to “inconvenience” them. I would feel really uncomfortable about making somebody else “uncomfortable.”

I recognize this behavior as weird in hindsight. Shame, disgust or suppressing the memory are unhelpful responses. Instead, I have to come to terms with and accept what happened (which does not mean to approve of it or that I wouldn’t do things differently in the future.) Analysis of why I did what I did will not address the issue at it’s core. Self-acceptance is required.

The ability to accept and be kind with myself enables me in a few ways:

1. I’m less likely to repeat the unhelpful behavior.
2. It will be easier for me to catch myself in weird behaviors in real-time, allowing me to still change course!
3. I find it easier to accept others behavior without judging them – though that does not mean I have to tolerate the behavior.

So, back to the story: I went around to ask for the display model and we got it👍 I had no initial resistance to the idea. I did not feel awkward or questioned myself through-out or afterwards.

Commitments #

My ongoing commitments are:

• Eat raw ^🇩🇪 until Mar01
• Read one book at a time until Mar19
• Publishing this newsletter every Sunday (12x streak😎)

What I’m working on #

For context, see /now.

This week my internal drive dropped to a new low. I’m suspecting my diet, as it went along with an insatiable hunger (indicator that I’m lacking something.) I think I already found the missing piece to my diet. I will test if this also addresses the lack of motivation and a few other symptoms that have come up.

I took a further look into the book I had read about water. I wanted to analyze the claims made and think through the philosophy presented using the method of “How to read a book.” I only got as far as the prologue, as I investigated the author and his assumption first. This basis is needed to evaluate and fully understand his arguments and bias.

Challenges #

Applying a specific learning or philosophy for a week (see project.)

Next one #

I’ve been busying myself. I had no internal drive to work towards something worthwhile, so I would busy myself with anything.

Instead I want to do nothing.

No watching documentaries for hours or thinking through some random stuff. Just lie there and do nothing instead. After a while of that I will probably find something good to do and if not, that’s okay too.

Boredom is great. I should try it sometime.

All the best,
Jonathan

PS: Please let me know if you have any comments, feedback or criticism.

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